The Who's and Why's of Adoption

Two Dads's picture

Who can adopt?
I suppose we had really start at the beginning and discuss who can adopt children. In such an age of misinformation it is easy to assume it’s something that not many people are allowed to do and that only a small elite are allowed. Well, that is simply not the case if you live in England or Wales. Apologies Scotland, I am unsure of your laws.
As for the rest of the world, some governments should hang their heads in shame for not allowing #gayadoption. They are ignoring and discriminating against a valuable resource that can help children who are abandoned or mistreated escape from that mistreatment to thrive in loving families. Those governments are doing this purely for the sake of satisfying those that think they need hate so they can remain in or gain power. I'm looking at you religion. Shame on you all.
In lighter news, these are the criteria for adoption in England and Wales and the list may surprise you: 
You must be over 21 years of age 
It does not matter if you are: 

  • Single, married, cohabiting, civil partnered or divorced 
  • Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered 
  • Disabled 
  • Own or rent your home 
  • Already have children or have no children 
  • Are of any race or religion 

Why do you want to adopt? 
It’s here that you need to ask yourself some stern and frank questions. For a long time I did not want to adopt. My feeling was that I could not hope to get attached to a being that was not of my own flesh and blood and treat them as my son or daughter. I had that opinion for so long it was almost entrenched. But then, as more and more of our friends had babies and were popping around to see us and vice versa, I found myself realising that the barrier I initially thought was there was not there after all and became rather broody. Of course, my partner was overjoyed at this! 
All around me I can see misinformation being spread and rampant failure of parenting with chavs running amok in the streets. Law and order appears to be steadily eroded and peoples standards also seem to be dropping massively. The media makes no effort to lift the populace, all they seem to do is appeal to the lowest common denominator and broadcast cheap television that makes them great profits. The Governments all seem weak and constantly under fire, don't get me started on the bankers! And so the wheel of civilisation spins further into obscurity while the nation gets fatter and burdens the NHS with it's selfish nature.
Against that dark and sullen backdrop I wanted to bring up a child to stand up for themselves and be able to have their own aims, independence and thoughts, to give them a chance at life and success. I felt I could do much better at that than any of these other people did. My parents did a good job on me and after speaking to many people of all sexual orientations I think a lot of them share this offspring arrogance thinking they can do it better. Maybe I have that same offspring arrogance, it certainly sounds it, but it's natural and laudable to want to do better and to make a difference. Just maybe not so good to blame everyone else. 
So the first step is understanding why you want to adopt. The physical reasons are various, such as gay couples, single people and those who cannot bear children for whatever reason. However it's not just about that as the thought behind it is what counts.

Why do you want children that are not biologically yours?

You will be asked this and the answers are many and varied absolutely regardless of sex or sexuality. So ask yourself why. Are you doing it for the glory? Are you doing it to be different? Are you doing it because you care? Are you doing it for love? Why? Understand your own reasons and everything else will flow.
More on this series later. If anyone has any questions or comments about the process then please feel free to comment or catch us on Twitter. 
Cheerio for now 
-Tim
@_TwoDads

Filed under :